I got back from my summer holidays just last weekend, I got to go home and see my friends and family and while I was there we traveled up the coast from Melbourne to Noosa (my home) and it was amazing. Three weeks of rushing around a place that I had never really realize just how beautiful it truly is. They do say you don’t know what you have until its gone.
Even if it was wonderful it went way to quickly and before I was ready I was hugging my mum, little brother and dad for the last time (for who knows how long) and hating the world for forming in a way that put Italy on the other side of the earth.
But I was hopeful at least I was going back to Milan and I was having such a great time before I left, that I figured I could not get that depressed, Right?
Nope, I think I’m allergic to the city. I reject it, like skin trying to push out a splinter. I fill tender and out of place. Im nervous and tired and well as much as I don’t like to admit it kind of full of fear. I don’t know why I relate the city to scary stuff but I do. I keep doing the whole pyramid of light safety thing and for some time I feel better, I feel like me. But then the creeped out feeling seeps back in.
Everything in life passes, this is kind of my moto. Pain, highs and lows they all pass eventually. I don’t know if it is positive or not but it is something that has stuck with me for a long time and so I guess that even my uncomfortableness about being back will soon pass, so I just pull up my socks and move forward, breathe and wait.
You always have a choice about how you see things and I need to change my perception, but I guess it will take me a little more time then a week!